g00dbeyes-blog

[beanie-vamp-draws]

INNER CHILD CHOKING ON BLOOD

[instinctandobediencetogod]

hii!! love your blog & am so happy you like my playlist <3 :)) hope you’re having a great day!

aww this is so sweet! i've never gotten an ask before 🤭

i've been listening to it all day long :) current faves are:

home is where the haunt is - i've heard about this band from my midwest-emo loving gf and am glad to finally give them a listen! it went straight on my halloween playlist

claws in your back - i haven't listened to much of julien's solo stuff despite being an avid boygenius fan and i really vibe w this song! one of my tags on this blog is "woof" which is all canine/dog related imagery so definitely fond of it for that reason too

nobody gets me - i listened to the new SZA album once or twice when it came out and this was one of my personal faves. it reminds me of fade into you by mazzy star a bit hehe.

thank You for introducing me to some new music!! hope you're going well too :))

P.S. to all, and to you! my user is a lyric from the song furr by blitzen trapper - highly recommend!

[potterology]

fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee 

- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)

- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute

- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools 

- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way

- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)

- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~

- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too

- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure

- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!

- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’) 

- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head

- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh

- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)

- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe

-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl

-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream

- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls

- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol

- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)

-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)

- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before”  I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy

- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT

- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god. 

-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me

- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE

- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)

- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it

-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee 

- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute

-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW

- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)

- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!

- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’)) 

- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love

[craniuum]

reflecting on the decade!!!!! 

not sure how this happened but tomorrow it’s literally going to be 2020 and i’m not at all going down a mental spiral over how time is just a social construct or the fact that i’ll have lived a quarter of a century in a few months nope

anyway i thought it would be fun exercise in self-reflection to compile a list seeing how my tastes/beliefs have changed throughout the 2010s from start to finish. for reference: start = high school (i graduated in 2012); middle = college/gap year (i graduated in 2016); and end = med school (i’m in my 3rd year now). here we go...

music (as told by favorite albums):

start: riot by paramore; lungs by f&tm; tourist history by two door cinema club; wincing the night away by the shins

middle: the idler wheel... by fiona apple; electra heart by m&td; a is for alpine by alpine; hozier by hozier; art angels by grimes

end: sufjan’s discography; sugar by brockhampton; high highs to low lows by lolo zouai; be the cowboy by mitski; el mal querer by rosalia; wasteland, baby! by hozier

television faves:

start: gossip girl, the vampire diaries, house md, arrested development

middle: bbc sherlock (we all liked it!!!!!! don’t lie), community, hannibal, 30 rock, orphan black

end: killing eve, crazy ex gf, broad city, bojack horseman, fleabag, iasip (it deserves a mention....)

film faves:

start: i was that (500) days of summer bitch

middle: i was that pulp fiction film bro bitch

end: i am that a24 bitch 

books!

start: i read so much in high school but i don’t think i had a favorite standalone back then. i remember really being into the inheritance cycle and john green lmao

middle: during college i’d read what i needed to read for my english minor classes but that was honestly mainly it. i read quite a lot during my gap year and i think my favorites were the goldfinch and the emperor of all maladies

end: i still don’t read as much as i should. i did read the namesake earlier this year and it resonated with me in a way that no book really has before

other side interests:

start: writing fiction! i had so many stories i wrote and one that really sticks out in my mind is about heaven and hell being at odds and there being royal families in both realms but the two princes got switched at birth and also there was a girl on earth who had weird visions and she’d save the day while also falling in love with the heaven prince who was actually from hell (can y’all tell i read a lot of paranormal fiction in high school)

middle: playing ukulele, bullet journaling (for like 3 months before i gave up), food network shows, idk i was pretty boring in college

end: i’m still boring now... one of my goals for next year is to curate more hobbies for myself

mbti:

start: INTJ (!!!!!! lmao)

middle: ISFJ

end: so i just took an mbti test for fun and i got INFP. what does it all mean.gif

best and worst quality (according to myself):

start: best - my creativity; worst - how arrogant and close-minded i was

middle: best - being hardworking; worst - how i neglected taking care of myself

end: best - letting myself have a big heart; worst - chronically procrastinating

my goals:

start: did i have any real substantial goals back then? unsure

middle: get into med school (back in college i wanted to go into neurosurgery of all things.... wow)

end: become a doctor of course, but also to work on letting myself be vulnerable towards others, put work into my relationships, and cultivate a healthier mindset of myself and the world around me

how i see myself:

start: tbh all i had going on for myself in high school was doing well in school, so i put in all my worth in my grades. i was a bit arrogant about it too. something that haunts me every day is an assignment we had in AP lit on ‘the awakening’ by kate chopin where i wrote these words verbatim: “i am, by no means, a feminist.” genuinely thought i was straight and would make a point to mention how i was only into white guys..... i really would not have been friends with myself.

middle: college was confusing. i still put in a lot of my self-worth into my grades but i went to a competitive university and got hit with a fat reality check pretty early on into my time there. i also think it took me going far away from home to embrace my cultural heritage and get closer to my mom and sister. i was also starting to realize i wasn’t really into guys. i think i liked who i was a little more... i could be friends with her.

end: the other day i met someone completely new and the way i introduced myself was “hi i’m upasana” and the next thing i’d immediately followed up with was “i’m a med student.” it didn’t come from a place of wanting to brag or anything like that - i think it’s genuinely how i mainly identify myself right now because of how much of my time school takes up. my other identifiers (all of which i’ve grown to be proud of) - indian, lesbian, sister, daughter, friend. i still have a lot of growing to do, and i’m scared, but i’m also a little thrilled to see where i go.